I'll be honest: when you bear your heart in a song, it can cause great apprehension when it finally comes down to putting it out there for the world to hear. At least this has been my experience. It's always maddening to think about how long it takes me to work up the guts to actually do it too. It's very easy for me to stay in my perpetual dream state, constantly up in the clouds envisioning what it's gonna be like when people finally get to hear the "REAL" me. Or when I'm able to show them what I'm really made of. "I'LL SHOW THEM!" But here's the crazy, and oftentimes depressing part: those are just dreams. They are not reality. These awesome songs that I like to think myself capable of producing are nothing but a gust of wind...until...you put the work in. I'm severely insecure. It doesn't even matter that I've been encouraged more times than I could even begin to remember. In really ridiculous ways too. But, it's never enough. NEVER ENOUGH. It makes me feel like a narcissist sometimes. But I really don't believe that I am an actual egomaniac...I think it's that I try to find my worth in what I am able to do with my hands and vocal cords, rather than focus on the only thing that will truly bring joy and ultimate satisfaction, and that is to meditate on the truth of what God thinks about me. I think you should probably do that too. This song represents my frustrations and bitterness at myself for failing to meet my own ridiculous expectations, and it is a call to God for his help in remembering the things that actually do bring my spirit to life. I hope it encourages you. I couldn't be anymore autobiographical than with this song. And I'm scared. And I'm excited. And I feel alive again. Please listen to it. And please share it if you think it might encourage someone else as well. It will be on all of the normal internet platforms very soon. Thanks so much for making it this far. Be blessed.
-soli Deo gloria
